As I prep for our next and final training course under our Dr. Paul Hargrave Memorial Centre Human Development Project, I cannot help but wonder that if I could, one year of my life which I could relive is 2020.
In retrospect, I can appreciate that all the signs and facts were right in front of me and I chose to be dismissive of them.
Stuck in a binary-loop of either or, I failed to acknowledge that multiple facts can be true at the same time.
You know, how you think, no she is my sister she cannot possible do that. She is in my home almost every day. On weekends without fail she is at mine.
What I thought was her appreciation for my cooking and generosity, in retrospect I can see were likely snide remarks a narcistic pyschopath puts out there to throw their prey off the scent of their scheming.
I am thinking if I could relieve 2020, like I tell learners on our research masterclasses, great qualitative data is got from being a great observer and listener.
I i could reliever 2020, I would do as I say to our learners. I would not have been dismissive and perhaps I would not have ended up in this mess I am in. But which I am fighting on until I triumph.
Importantly, I would not have been as dismissive as I was of comments made by a loved one now rested. He would say things and I would dismiss them as caused by dementia.
I regret it so much. I wish I had listened better.
If I were given a chance, there are many things I could have done for him during his life time. But the least that I can do, is some day be able to put then in writing and hopeful save another from going through the same.
In the meantime, I look forward to our Participatory Action Research Masterclass scheduled to begin next week.
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